Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Without Permission

The worst part of my first birth was the parts where Hubby had to leave to grab some stuff at home. We were underprepared at 34 weeks to bring our baby into the world. Instead of having Mom and my sisters with me, it was just Hubby and I. We felt pretty alone and completely overwhelmed the next few months, being far from family and having friends who usually weren't in the same boat of having kids and living on one income. Fast forward a couple years... and I'm 38 1/2 weeks pregnant with our second. Last night some girlfriends, my sister, and Mom brainstormed names for us and traded birth stories. It was community and I was loving it. And when I got back home I realized that I have a desperate desire for people to invade my life without permission. Do you? I don't think it's supposed to be weird to drop in on a family and share an evening of laughter. Seriously, there are many nights after our son is in bed when we mindlessly turn to our devices and do absolutely nothing out of boredom. What if we lived differently? Once I go into real labor, this time will be different. I'll have my sisters, Mom, friends, midwife, assistant and Hubby here. At home. There'll be laughter and tears and vulnerability. There won't be a chance to hide or be in my comfort zone. And I LOVE that. Someday, when my daughter asks what her birth was like, and I don't remember all the details, I can send her to her Grandma or aunts, and they'll be able to fill in the blanks I've forgotten. My mom, after having 8 children herself, will be able to see what it's like on the other side. We won't be alone. No time to edit when a nap is more important! Thanks for bearing with my grammar :)

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